Day 27 – A song your friends think you’re a dork for liking, but you don’t give a shit
Dire Straits – “Brothers In Arms”
Mark Knopfler isn’t anyone’s idea of cool, and I’m not always a fan; however, this song, trite as it may be, has always sounded so perfect to my ears. The production is crisp, the performance understated, the mix downright majestic. Always liked the video as well. Fuck the haters.
Day 26 – A song that helps you poo
Noxagt – “Gravy And Blood”
Bowel shaking bass, pounding drums and grinding viola. Play it loud enough and watch the shit fly.
Day 25 – A song with a really annoying sound effect
The Singing Dogs – “Jingle Bells”
I dislike most Christmas music and dislike most dogs, so this is a shitty synthesis I dread. The fact that it is an historically important recording doesn’t change my antipathy, nor does it make the pitch-shifted barks any less annoying.
Day 24 – A song that someone has put on when you were trying to sleep off a hangover
Minor Threat – “Out Of Step”
My friends think they’re funny. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Day 23 – A song that just makes you feel dirty
Prince featuring Kim Basinger – “The Scandalous Sex Suite”
It makes me feel dirty in a queasy and uncomfortable, non-sexy way. The best analogy I could come up with is imagine being on a date, watching an erotic movie at a drive-in; however, your mother in the backseat, and it sounds like she might be frigging herself.
Day 22 – A song you put on during dinner to cover the sound of everyone chewing with their mouth open
The Goslings – “Croatan”
Conveniently, this will also cover the sound of everyone blowing their brains out.
Good lord. Five solid minutes of hambonin’ and eefin’ by Jackie Phelps & Jimmy Riddle. Your head might explode.
Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick.
Day 21 – A song that makes you laugh so hard you shoot milk out of your nose
The Dead Milkmen – “Stuart”
“Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick!” It’s not much of a song, and it’s not ha-ha funny, but ever since it came out back in ‘88 “Stuart” has left me in chortles. Not quite the same as milk out the nose, but chortles is the best you get from me these days.
Day 20 – A song you would play on your boombox, down at the beach, if you had a boombox
Jane’s Addiction – “Summertime Rolls”
Me and my girlfriend
Don’t wear no shoes
Her nose is painted pepper sunlight
I Am Not Me 